


Alex's Regression Blog

by jeffersonios



Series: Little Alex [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Age Regression, CGLRE, Little!Alex, Multi, littlespace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 16:36:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13930998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeffersonios/pseuds/jeffersonios
Summary: In which Lafayette finds Alexander's littlespace tumblr, and it's a rollercoaster from there.(YO go check out That_Jett_Kid's CGLRE-Hamilton series it's so amazing and this is probably a lot worse than that so like go read that but then come back because I love readers)





	1. Lafayette's Discovery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [That_Jett_Kid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Jett_Kid/gifts).



> Loosely inspired by That_Jett_Kid's CGLRE-Hamilton series, but I made a lot of changes.
> 
> Also, this is sort of a college au, except for Laf cause I made them a YouTube beauty guru don't judge me.

**Alex's Regression Blog**

_**Taken () Little age: 2-5 () Big age: 22** _

**Imagine if:** _My partners wanted to be my caregivers. Unlikely, but just imagine it._

Lafayette wasn't sure how they ended up on this part of Tumblr, they just know that the next post after that was a picture of their boyfriend in a onesie with a pacifier. Not only did Laf end up learning everything about littlespace, regression, and the communities involved, but they found out their boyfriend is a little. And wanted his partners to be his caregivers. His partners, meaning Laf, Herc, and John. Lafayette was giddy with excitement.

"Hey Laf, did you-" Alexander halted his sentence, eyeing Lafayette's computer, "You... Um... It's not what it looks like. I can pack my stuff and leave if you want, but I-"

"Alex, calm down," Laf said, standing up, "I'm not making you leave. If I wanted you to leave, it would be for a better reason. I'm just wondering... Can you explain it to me? I did some research, but what exactly does it mean for you?"

"Well um... It's uh..." For a man who could use fifteen letter words coherently, he didn't know what to say, "That's kind of a loaded question, I'm not sure I can answer it without sounding insane."

"Try your best," Laf encouraged.

"Well it's a coping mechanism," Alexander started hesitantly, before sitting down on the bed, "And... It means I mentally... Revert back to a childish state of mind," He started reciting the basics of regression, a post he made a few weeks ago, "People do it for different reasons. Mine is mostly because I had a shitty childhood and I like it. Some regressors have caregivers, but uh... I don't have one. So... Yeah. That's the basics..."

"How do you manage to go so long without us noticing?"

"Ever wondered why nobody is allowed in my office?" He mumbled, fiddling with his fingers, "I've almost slipped up a few times, but usually I stay in my office."

"I see... This is probably... How you say... Abrupt, but... Can we possibly try out me being a caregiver? I am not sure I will do a good job, but I would like to learn more and try it out," Laf said, finding the words as they went.

"If you wanted to," Alexander mumbled, turning red, "I'm... Not a caregiver, and never had one, so I wouldn't know how to teach you but I guess it's just acting as you would with a biological child, except I'm a grown-up."

"If it works out... Would you mind Herc and John knowing? Or do you not want them to find out?"

"If it works out," Alexander hesitated, "I would like them to know. Even if they don't want to be a part of it."

"I think they will," Laf assured him, "Herc and John love children. Even if it might take them awhile to get used to it. I am going to do more research before I interact with you in littlespace, if that's okay. I want to know what to expect."

"Everyone's littlespace is different, I can explain mine to you," He said, "Even so, mine varies a lot. Sometimes I'm completely nonverbal... That's more on bad days though, when I'm little because of sadness. I'm pretty young, around two to five years, and I uh... I use pacifiers. And sometimes diapers... It depends. If you're not comfortable with that I can-"

"Don't change it for me, just stay as you were before I found out," Laf said, "I don't want you to feel like you can't be yourself because of me or Herc or John. I'm totally comfortable with it," Laf assured.

"You're different than most people."

"I'm a French immigrant, non-binary makeup artist, who's in a polyamourous relationship with three men. I'd say I'm pretty different."

* * *

A few days later, Laf and Alexander found themselves with a morning of nothingness. Herc had a meeting out of town, and John had classes all morning. Laf was hesitant when they thought of Alexander spending the morning in littlespace, but Alexander was one step ahead of them.

Lafayette walked into the living room after uploading their newest video, to find Alexander curled up on the couch, a pacifier in his mouth and a far-away look in his eyes. He was holding a Mickey Mouse stuffed animal, matching the cartoon playing on the television.

Alexander's eyes widened when he realized Laf was there, and he took out his pacifier, "I'm sorry, I should'a asked if it was okay-"

"Shh, _mon petit_ , it is okay," Laf smiled warmly, before sitting on the couch with Alexander, "What are you watching?"

"Mickey Mouse Clubhouse," Alexander said, from behind his pacifier, which had found it's way back into his mouth.

"Have you eaten?" Alexander smiled at the nickname.

"Was gonna. Didn't know what to eat," Alexander said, not bothering to take out his pacifier.

"Hmm... I'm not sure what we have to eat, but I can make you something, if you would like?" Laf offered, not wanting to do anything overly caregiver-like to not overwhelm the boy, but wanting to take care of the little nonetheless.

"'Kay."

Laf got up, before stopping. Should they really be leaving Alexander alone? He was good before Laf woke up...

"Do you want to stay here, or come with me?"

Alexander thought for a moment, toying with the ring on his pacifier, "With you," Alexander made grabby hands for them, and Laf smiled, "Upsies?"

Lafayette practically melted at the request.  _Mon Dieu, he's adorable.._

"Sure," They said, picking up Alexander with ease and propping the unnaturally short boy on their hip.

Alexander gripped Laf's pajama shirt and laid his head on their shoulder.

"What shall we eat, _mon petit_?" They asked, opening the fridge for Alexander to see, "We have... Eggs, toaster waffles, bacon... I can make scrambled eggs and bacon, would you like that?"

Alexander nodded, and Laf pulled the items required from the fridge and set them down on the counter next to the fridge. Alexander lifted his head, and started toying with Laf's bun with the hand not holding on, "'What are you doing?" Laf asked, laughing and turning on the stove.

"Fluffy."

"My hair?"

Alexander simply hummed in response.

"I'm going to have to put you down, is that okay?" Laf asked, "I am afraid I will accidentally burn you."

Alexander nodded, taking his hand away from Laf's hair, and setting it back on their back.

Laf set Alexander down away from the ingredients, but close enough so he wasn't too far from them.

That was when disaster struck. Three disasters, all at once.

First, Alexander touched the stove and burnt himself. That's when Laf realized that they put Alexander away from the ingredients, but next to the stove. They mentally face-palmed for that.

Second, Laf knocked the egg carton off the counter when they turned to look at Alexander. Now there's egg all over the floor and there are no more eggs to make breakfast with.

Third, John came home. This would be fine on any other day, but John walked in to find his boyfriend sitting on the counter crying, with a pacifier in his mouth.

Lafayette turned slowly to face John, "Hey John... How were your classes?"

"Uh... Professor King wasn't there so I came home early... What's going on here?" John didn't sound mad, or even grossed out. 

Alexander then found himself in a weird space between little and big. Still very small, but big enough to worry. _What's John going to think?_

"May we pause this conversation so I can calm Alex down for a moment?" Laf proposed, "Wait in the living room, please."

John nodded, and left the room.

Laf turned to Alexander, "Did you burn your hand, mon petit?" They picked up Alexander, and carried him to the sink, "Can I have your hand please? The one that hurts," Alexander hesitantly held his right pointer finger out, which was turning bright red. Laf turned on the water and made it as cold as possible, before grabbing Alexander's hand and guiding it gently towards the cool water. The coolness of the water surprised him, and he let out a small squeak, before relaxing and leaning his head on Laf's shoulder.

"Owie."

"I know, I know, it hurts huh? I'm sorry for leaving you so close to the stove," Laf said, bouncing the little lightly, making him giggle through his tears.

"Meanie stove."

They laughed a little, before nodding. After another few minutes of Alexander babbling meaninglessly and the cool water running over his finger, Laf turned the water off and grabbed a Mickey Mouse bandaid from a drawer nearby, the bandaids being leftover from babysitting a friend's kid.

Alexander's babbling started going to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song as Laf put the bandaid on. Alexander inspected his finger, doe eyes trailing over the smiling characters on the bandaid.

"All better?" Laf asked, and Alexander nodded.

"Now we just have to talk to John."

Easier said than done.


	2. Ha, I Win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which John and Hercules find out about Alexander's littlespace, but it turns out they already knew and had a bet running for when Laf would find out.

Lafayette walked out of the kitchen, Alexander on their hip, to find Hercules and John smiling ear to ear.

“HA! Told you so! I win! Pay up, Herc,” John said, crossing his arms in triumph.

“What’s going on here?” Laf asked, face contorting into confusion, “I thought Herc wasn’t supposed to be home until noon.”

“Meeting was cancelled so I just went for breakfast and now we’re here, where I’m down twenty bucks because you found out Alex is a little too soon,” Hercules said, pulling out his wallet and forking over twenty dollars.

“You knew?” Laf asked, still not grasping the situation. Alexander had gone back to playing with Lafayette’s hair, “Did he tell you?”

“Nah, but Herc looked in Alex’s office’s closet one day,” John recounted, Alexander looking up at the mention of his name, “And then he asked me if I knew anything about it. Then we googled it and behold! Tumblr! And we decided that instead of asking him about it, we’d bet on when you’d find out. And I won.”

Lafayette sighed, “Why doesn’t that surprise me? You should have asked him about it. He would have had a caregiver long before now if we had known.”

“That’s what I said, but he insisted,” Herc said, “Told me it wouldn’t be long. Here we are, a year later.”

“You’re a caregiver?” John asked, “When did you find out about him?”

“I’m sorry, this bet has been going on for HOW LONG?” Lafayette said, a face of disappointment on.

“A year. Why?” Herc said.

“Why? Because that means Alex has been hiding this from us for over a year!” Laf cried, startling Alexander, who stopping playing with their hair to look at Laf

“Laf, calm down,” John said, “We wanted - want - to be caregivers and help him as much as you do, but I didn’t want to ask him because that was too forward. So I made a bet. Put money on it so Herc doesn’t say anything.”

“Figured you’d find out by accident, so he wouldn’t be able to deny it,” Herc shrugged, “How DID you find out, anyways?”

“Did some research on my own. Found his tumblr blog and he saw me looking at it.

“So you didn’t even have to ask him about it?” Herc asked.

“I asked a few questions, but yeah,” Laf said.

“He’s asleep,” Herc observed.

“Aww,” John smiled, “I regret not asking him about it sooner. He is so cute right now. And always. But especially right now.” 

* * *

"So you mean to tell me that not only are you all not disgusted, but you want to be caregivers?"

"Yes, you have confirmed that with us ten times in the past ten minutes," Lafayette said, and Alexander smiled. It's now later, after dinner, where they had all discussed everything, after having some alone time for John and Herc to do research and for Alexander to get some work done.

"Sorry, it's just hard to believe that I started the day with no official caregiver, and now I have three," He said, "Now I won't have to keep all my little stuff in that tiny closet. It was starting to not fit."

"Is that why we weren't allowed to open your mail?" Hercules asked, "Or go through your grocery bags? Or go into your office? Or look at your internet history? Or... Anything?"

"Yeah. I haven't gotten anything new in a while, though," Alexander said, "If I did, the closet would overflow."

"Can you show us some of your stuff?" John suggested, and he was glad he did, because he has never seen Alexander's eyes light up the way they did when he said that.

"Sure!" He said, practically jumping up. John, Herc, and Lafayette shared a smile, before walking after the boy.

The four of them went into Alexander's office, and sat on the floor outside the closet while Alexander opened it, and pulled out a cardboard box, "This is all stuffed animals," he pulled out a suitcase, "This is most of the smaller stuff, that doesn't go on hangers," He pointed at the hangers, "I keep my little clothes in here too, on those hangers."

"When you said you have a lot, I thought you were exaggerating," Laf said, looking in amazement.

"Where do you want to start?" Alexander asked, joining the three on the floor.

"Where do _you_ want to start?" John asked, and Alexander tilted his head, thinking.

"The smaller stuff," He said, "If that's okay. It's my favorite."

"Start wherever you'd like."

Alexander unzipped the suitcase, "I keep it in a suitcase because it has pockets and it's inconspicuous. Even if someone went in my closet," He glared at Herc, "They wouldn't know unless they unzipped the suitcase," He glared at Herc again, who raised his hands in surrender.

"You have a lot more than when I saw it," Hercules observed, smiling.

"A year ago I didn't have as much money, or as much time to be little. Now I have a lot more time to be little so I have more," Alexander explained, "So I have the whole rainbow and more in pacifiers, sippy cups, and some pacifier clips now, whereas a year ago I maybe had... Three pacifiers, a few sippy cups, and like... No pacifier clips."

Alexander pulled out a gallon bag from the suitcase, put it on the ground, and the group gawked.

Hercules counted them through the bag, "You have literally twenty-five pacifiers. How did you have the money for all of these?"

"Same way Laf has money for all their heels and makeup and cameras and stuff," Alexander shrugged, "Told you there was a lot."

Alexander opened the bag, and pulled one of them out, "Some of them say stuff, like this one says "daddy's boy" and I didn't use it a lot because I didn't have a caregiver but I guess now I can," He said, before quickly rephrasing, "If one of you wanted to be called daddy. It's totally fine if you didn't, but yeah."

"I'm comfortable with it," Herc said, looking to the others, who nodded, while looking through the pacifier pile.

"Herc can be daddy," Alexander said, "And John can be... Um... Well there's dada, or papa, or..."

"I like dada," John said, "Papa makes me think of the pizza place. Papa John."

They all laughed.

"Dada it is," Alexander said, between bouts of laughter.

"And Laf can be..." Alexander thought for a moment, "There's not a lot of non-binary caregiver names but there's baba, bubby, dommy... Do you like any of those?"

Laf smiled, "I'm open to any of them, you choose."

"Well I kinda always imagined you'd be dommy," Alexander said, looking down to where he was toying with the "daddy's boy" pacifier, "It's one of the less popular ones, but I've always liked it."

"Dommy it is," Lafayette said, smiling, "We're going to have to get you a "dommy's boy" pacifier, you have a daddy one and a dada one. I am feeling left out," They joked.

Alexander grinned, "New pacifiers are always welcome."

"Why do you have so many?" John asked, still shocked at the amount.

"Well... I sometimes use them when I'm working. And when I'm taking a break. And when nobody's home. Even if I'm not little," Alexander explained, "And then also sometimes the shops I like come out with new designs, especially on the decorated ones. I've had my eye on a new ocean-themed one. Usually I just buy them when I see them online."

"Some people impulsively buy food, you impulsively buy pacifiers."

"Pretty much. There's a 10k gold pacifier that I would buy if I was a millionaire. But I'm not... Yet," Alexander grinned before pulling out another bag. Pacifier clips, it was labeled.

"What are pacifier clips?"

"They loop onto pacifiers like this..." Alexander pulled one out, and looped the band onto the pacifier ring, "Then they clip to your clothes like this," He clipped the clip to his shirt collar, "Then if you drop your pacifier, it won't get dirty."

"The ribbons are cute," Laf said.

"That's mostly why I have them," Alexander confessed, "Even though they're convenient, I like them mostly for the ribbons. My favorite is this space one that I can match with my black pacifier."

"It's getting late, we should go to bed. We can cuddle in bed for a bit, if you want," Laf suggested, and Alexander nodded, along with the others.

"Can I bring a pacifier to bed?"

"Of course."

Alexander chose the 'daddy's boy' pacifier, and Hercules smiled, "Good choice."

Alexander loaded all his stuff back into the suitcase, before following his caregivers to bed.

He can't wait to be little again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone was wondering, there is a 10k gold pacifier. It exists. It's at Rearz. I want it, but it's 11,709 and I don't have that kind of money.
> 
>  
> 
> Please comment what you liked and didn't like about this chapter because I seek validation.

**Author's Note:**

> Lafayette and Alexander will talk to John in the next chapter.


End file.
